More than you think I am…

For the longest time when someone would ask me, “Who are you?, I would answer them by giving my name and telling them what I did for a living. This was especially prominent when I was a police officer. I identified myself as a police officer and left it at that. “My name is Josh and I’m a Police Officer”, are words that came out of my mouth hundreds of time. I was proud of what I did and there is nothing wrong with that but looking back, I was more than just a police officer. Even today, years after leaving law enforcement, I still identify myself with what I do. “I’m Josh and I’m a children’s counselor.” Granted my profession is a part of who I am but it is not ALL of who I am. Over the past couple of months I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to identify myself. For the sake of getting all-introspective and throwing all of my “feel goods” out there, Ill summarize for you. I am more than what I do for a living and I am more that what I see in the mirror. Over this past couple of months the firsts moments of consciousness after waking up are given to God and thanking him for another day to be with the ones I love. After that I usually say good morning to my wife and depending on if there is an offspring crying to get up needing a bed change my morning is fairly routine. After my wife leave for work and I get the kids squared away I take a little time for myself. The only question I ask myself is “Who am I?” Sometimes I throw in a “Who do I want to be today?”

I have only recently been able to answer those questions honestly. Now when I look at myself or look inside myself (don’t get sick on me). I am much more than what I have been telling myself for years. I am first and foremost a Son of God. It has taken me years to accept that and come to terms with what that means. Even writing it now feels foreign to me but I embrace it whole-heartedly. After that I am a husband and father that hold equal importance to me. Those three things are not only what I want to be but want to people to perceive me as when they see me. Other things that contribute to who I am include, being a son, brother and friend. My job as a children’s counselor fits into the mold that makes me along with things like a hockey fan, reader, very armature photographer and recently a writer. I love writing and hopes to one day make it my sole source of income. As much of a back slide it would be, I wouldn’t mind identifying myself as a writer.

So from now on when someone asks me who I am, they better prepared for a long conversation.


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